ARTICULATE WHAT YOU WANT; NOT WHAT YOU DON’T WANT
If you were to record yourself trying to influence others, then play it back, you would probably hear lots of ‘restrictive’ language. Restrictive language sounds like, “What I don’t want is…” “What we need to avoid is…” “Be careful of…”
This kind of language generates concern and caution in your audience. It can be useful to a degree; if you’re using it to intentionally establish boundaries and to constrain behaviour. More often than not, however, you’re probably using this kind of language unconsciously and way too much.
To influence others most effectively, you want your communication to be dominated by ‘prescriptive’ language. Prescriptive language sounds like, “What we really want is…” “Success looks like…” “A positive outcome would be…” Prescriptive language encourages a sense of direction, hope and possibility in your audience. It guides them toward the outcomes you seek. Most importantly, it creates space for them to move into.
Your communication can enable or constrain those you lead. The more prescriptive your language, the more inspiration you convey, and the more influence you have.
INSPIRATION FROM OTHERS
“The first secret of getting what you want is knowing what you want.”– Arthur D. Hlavaty
“Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care, for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.” – Buddha
QUESTIONS TO REFLECT ON
- How much do you talk about what you want versus what you don’t?
- On reflection, how much of your communication is conscious versus unconscious?
- What opportunities do you have to be more prescriptive in your language?
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