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When someone falls short of your expectations, do you assume the best or start gathering evidence for the prosecution?

If you assume the worst, you’ll likely manifest what you fear, then use that outcome as the justification to do exactly the same next time.

When you question other’s intentions, you force them into a defensive stance. They will almost certainly become offended, rigid and oppositional. In essence, you’re questioning their character.

If you start by assuming a noble intention, what you’ll find is that roughly 80% of the people you interact with actually do have noble intentions right off the bat. They’re trying to do the right thing, or at least the best they can with what they know. It might not be good enough, they may be making a mess, but they’re trying. There’s nothing sinister there. Their motivation is pure.

Approximately 20% of people, for all sorts of reasons, may not have noble intentions at any given moment. Perhaps they’ve been burnt before, or they’re dealing with some personal issues. Here’s the interesting thing though; when you assume these people do have noble intentions, many of them will rise to the occasion. They will take the opportunity to be the best version of themselves.

It might take three or four attempts, but just by approaching them in a way that nobody else does, can give you enormous influence and create a profound impact.

It’s not possible to help others change when you start by questioning their intentions. To truly influence others, you must always give them the benefit of the doubt.

INSPIRATION FROM OTHERS

“Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” – Laurence J. Peter

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” – Ernest Hemingway

QUESTIONS TO REFLECT ON

  • When someone falls short of your expectations, do you assume the best or the worst of their intentions?
  • Have you ever jumped to conclusions only to realize later that your assumptions were wrong?
  • What was the consequence?

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