STIMULUS (+ THINKING) = RESPONSE
Whenever I’m asked to recommend a book for leaders, I give the same answer; Man’s Search for Meaning, by Victor Frankl, published all the way back in 1946.
Frankl was an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist, and Holocaust survivor. His classic book documents his experiences at Auschwitz as both a prisoner and a psychiatrist. In effect, Frankl was “in the experience” and “observing the experience” at the same time. In doing so, he noticed that those who survived the longest were those who chose their attitude in spite of their dire circumstances; an attitude that enabled them to find meaning and purpose amid the most horrific human suffering.
Central to Frankl’s research and philosophy is learning how to use the ‘space’ between a given stimulus and our response. For example, I grew up with a hot-headed Italian father – particularly in the car. If someone cut us off, he would scream blue murder. This was such a regular occurrence that I thought it to be perfectly normal behavior until I was about 14 years old. Then, one day, I had a revelation. The only people who were getting stressed out and upset were in OUR car!
In the animal kingdom, stimulus equals response. If an animal is threatened, it will fight or flee. As human beings, we have a brief moment between stimulus and response to choose a helpful course of action. If someone on the road cuts us off, it turns out that we can choose to let it go and focus on the more important things in our day. Who knew?
If you want to lead effectively, you must use the space between stimulus and response to choose your course of action intentionally; one that is aligned with what you want to accomplish, and even more importantly, who you want to be.
INSPIRATION FROM OTHERS
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Viktor Frankl
“No matter how frustrating or boring or constraining or painful or oppressive our experience, we can always choose how we respond.” – Edith Edgar
QUESTIONS TO REFLECT ON
- How much responsibility do you take for your emotions, versus blaming others for how you feel?
- How intentionally do you use the space between a given stimulus and your response?
- How could you better use the space between stimulus and response in the future?
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