WE ALL DO THE BEST WE CAN WITH WHAT WE KNOW
Whenever you fall short of a goal or self-imposed standard, be quick to forgive yourself. Know that you’re doing the best you can with what you know at that particular moment. This, in turn, can become the impetus for you to grow, to learn and to try to know more, rather than to become perfectionistic and self-critical.
The more empathy you show yourself, the more likely you will show it to others as well. Instead of judging them, you might think; “Imagine the pressure that person is under. What must be going on in their life?” This is a much better starting point to address whatever issue is in play.
Whenever I encounter a leader literally or metaphorically banging the desk in anger or frustration, I see the characteristics of my daughter when she was six years old and did not yet have the emotional capacity to express herself constructively. I respond with empathy rather than judgment, and it’s a game changer. A simple statement like “you seem very frustrated/angry/upset, would you like to talk that through together?”, has led to some of the longest partnerships I’ve ever had.
When someone fails to meet your expectations, try to make your first instinct one of empathy. It’s the surest way to create a sense of connection. It also opens up the possibility to help them grow, learn and raise their standards to meet your expectations.
We all make mistakes, and that’s okay, because we all do the best we can with what we know.
INSPIRATION FROM OTHERS
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama
“Empathy is the starting point for creating a community and taking action. It’s the impetus for creating change.” – Max Carver
QUESTIONS TO REFLECT ON
- How quickly do you forgive your failures?
- What have you learned from past failures?
- Do you generally show others compassion or judgment?
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